Roger, who is sadly no longer with us, had an influence on my life in a way which might not always be regarded as beneficial. Nevertheless, it was an influence that was to have a lasting effect upon me.

Roger was a year older than I at elementary school and went before me to High School, we were also both in the church choir and we became friends. We’d play together and I’d sometimes go to visit him at home. Sometimes, however, his mother would say that he couldn’t come out to play. At first I would think this was becasue he had been naughty though Roger was not a naughty child normally. In fact, the reason that his mother would not let him out to play was that Roger was unwell.

Roger was born with a heart condition; what we called in those days ‘a hole in the heart’. This meant, that he would often lack energy and too much exercise could be fatal for him. It was at times like these that his mother would keep him in at home to make sure he did not exert himself too much.

It was known by all his friends that he had this condition but, I guess, none of usreally knew how serious it was or how much it affected him. There were times when he could come out to play and he would be great fun to play with. There were other times when he could not play and we all had to accept this.

Thenone day, when I was about 12, Roger died. It is probably true to say that all his family and his friends found it hard to come to terms with his death. I was certainly no different to anyone else and his death had an effect upon me.

What his death taught me is that people, even friends, do not remain forever. This can hurt emotionally and a way of avoiding this hurt is not to get too close to your friends. By remaining a bit distant it is a bit easier to pick up your life once more when your friends cease being friends.

This was the influence that Roger had upon my life. As you can see, it may not be regarded as a positive influence. It was to have a lasting effect upon me and affected most of my later friendships and relationships.

Sure, it stood me in good stead when my friends did cease to be friends or when a relationship ended. However, the problem was that by keeping a bit of distance between myself and my friends, it put a strain upon that friendship and that was part of the reason for the friendships ending. The same was very much true of relationships; you cannot enter a relationship while still holding part of yourself back!

I cannot say that it was easy to get over the influence that Roger had over my life but the first step was to realise that the effect existed. Once that was done, I could tackle and change my attitude. I still have fond memories of Roger as a good friend.

Sadly, my paternal grandmother is no longer alive. Indeed, she was old even when I knew her, so I did not have as long as other people to get to know her (my younger brother had even less time). Nevertheless, she did have an influence on my life at an early age.

The incident that really encapsulates the influence my grandmother had occurred when I was in my mid teens. I had at that time, started writing poetry. I had even gone as far as to have some of my poems published. I recall my father and I visiting my grandmother and showing her the book with my poems in.

It was not clear or not whether she liked the poems but that was not the point (though I would have liked her to). It was her response that was to become an influence on my life. After having the poems read to her, her eyesight was perhaps not up to reading the print, her simple response was;

“Thank goodness one of us has enough sense to do something with their life.”

Although I have not gone on to write much poetry since, that response has stayed with me. It has been a remonder to me and a driver for me to try to achieve something in life;- a legacy or a body of work that could be of use to other people.

Some of the peope are very much alive and well and it will be no surprise to see them included, other are sdaly no longer with us. Some of the people I have never even met but they have had an influence on my life either through their words or their work.

I will not give away who those people are, you will just have to wait and see.

Just announced on the betterperson website is the availability of 2009 diaries to help you achieve your goals or vision.

The diaries, available through Amazon.co.uk, allow you to record your goals and monitor your progress toward achieving them.

I’d strongly suggest you pop over to abetterperson.com blog and place an order for yours now…just in time for Christmas and those New year resolutions!

Vision Life Diary 2009

I only recently stumbled across this site and this article in particular which list 100 sites that inspire you to becoming a better person. The list is truly awsome and anyone would be well advised to check out these sites regularly.

The article starts by listing the top 10 sites which, it claims, are ‘must read’ sites and I’d tend to agree with their choice.

Then it goes on to cite sites that will help you;

• achieve your dreams or goals
• work better or be more productive
• motivation and personal development
• Being happy or finding happiness
• giving back or making a contributio to society or the world
• spiritual awareness
• simplicity, downshifting or simplifying life
• financial planning
• healthy mind
• and, a healthy body

Like I said, the site is well worth a visit. The article will undoubtedly list sites you already know and visit but it is also likely to point you to new sites you did not know existed.

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The article points out what it considers 3 keys to happiness in life. These questions I pose here are based directly upon those 3 keys;

If you are looking for happiness in your life;

1. Do you have something to do? A Job, a hobby, a sport, a pastime or maybe a life purpose.
2. Do you have something to love? A partner, family, friends or maybe your job or social cause.
3. Do you have something to hope for? Dreams, goals or ambitions that you are actively striving toward.

Finally, the original article presents us with a quote, I don’t know from where, that is very apt;

The only difference between a rut and a grave is six feet.

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In all this is almost an inspiring article that I’d recommend to everyone, especially if you are planning a big day for yourself.

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Image via Wikipedia

I’ve been looking around the net recently and it is amazing how many little gems you can find. Today I discovered an article on the Change Your Thoughts blog which made me stop and read further. The article was titled, The Id, The ego, the Super-Ego and your Goals. I’m not a psychiatrist so please do not expect me to explain all those terms but what intrigued me about the post was that it tackled the issue of goals. The article dealt with why people often fail to achieve their goals but also provided ways to help you achieve goals quicker.

As you read through the article, it explains about why people fail to achieve their goals and it also explains those three Freudian terms for parts of the personality. It sets out the author’s belief that in order to achieve goals you need to satisfy all three parts.

The article then presents you with 3 key ways of achieving your goals quicker, including the need to communicate your goals in different ways, which harks back to multi-tasking and, it seems, multiple learning styles.

All in all a very thoughtful and interesting article that tackles the old subject of goal setting in a new way.

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Affirmations are thoughts and beliefs that command our minds and our behavior subconciously. They can be both negative and positive. We often use negative affirmations to tell ourselves how foolish we are, how worthless we are, how undeserving we are etc.. This affects how we view ourselves, our confidence and our self esteem. In extreme cases it can lead to a totally lack of confidence and self esteem. Positive affirmations tell us how much we value ourselves, respect ourselves, how good we are etc.. Again these affect how we see ourselves, our level of confidence and self esteem.

A person can use positive affirmations to improve their confidence, their self esteem and also to change their behaviors. It is positive affirmations that help a person improve their life. Positive affirmations can also be used to replace negative beliefs and to remove negative thinking.

Affirmations can also be used to help a person set goals. Even once goals have been set, affirmations can be employed to help make those goals a reality.

The importance of affirmations is that they should be positive.

Take a read of the article and allow yourself to be introduced to affirmations.

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Image by NDWHill via Flickr

Am I happy? That may seem a strange question to ask but that is the question that is posed on the Success Elixir website in a post about recognizing true happiness.

The site reckons that this is the first question you should ask yourself but, surprise surprise, they also say that first of all you need to find out what happiness means to you.

They article goes on to debate the aspects of materialism, how some people feel that thes emake them happy and also why such materialism generally does not create happiness.

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